I had always assumed that I couldn't communicate my concerns. I believed that my prior experiences had shaped me into someone who does not trust easily. I was certain that everyone would eventually leave, so why bother to open up? But recently, I've realized that I was mistaken. Deep down, I've always wanted someone to count on. Maybe it's selfish, but I want to open up and express my ideas and emotions, especially when I need them the most.
I try to be there for others by listening to their difficulties and providing assistance. But when it comes to me, I don't think anyone actually listens with the same care. I'm not sure why, but I find myself desiring others that share my emotions and thoughts.
Sometimes I believe someone cares and wants me to open up. But when I finally do.............
when I let out all the emotions I've been holding in since birth, they can't seem to manage it. They are unable to respond to my questions with the level of attention I require. It is discouraging.
I'm looking for someone who is like me in another place: a companion, mentor, or brother. It does not have to be a specific person, just someone who understands. After my last attempt at sharing, I still crave that connection. When you want someone in your life, you at least try, but I don't see anyone else trying.
After the last encounter, I made a commitment to myself. I refuse to discuss my stress, problems, or emotions with folks who make me feel insignificant. I'm resolved to move on from them and escape the phony compassion they provide.
Craving someone like me is more than just an idea. It's a must. I want to feel understood and to share my burdens without being judged or ignored. Maybe eventually I'll discover that person. For the time being, I'm hoping that someone else wants the same connection that I do.
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